Thoughts from the Last Week

There are sometimes in your life in which you really really want to just run away from all responsibility, and just fly. This week I have had many of those moments.

***

As a disclaimer for this post, my brain is 99.9% fried, so I apologize for my lack of good spelling and/or grammar. Also, it is literally just a list of thoughts that ran threw my brain this past week. Enjoy

***

Ahh! The world is out to get me.

This car that looks like a box had better get out of my way, or else....Real mature, trying to run me over. Excellent.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow.

Adios, Professor Davis. Never again.

Please take this book away from me. Sorry we're not buying it back. Just one more way Professor Davis put his oppressive stamp on my life. Beautiful.

I just want the next 5 days to happen without me being aware of them. I'll just deal with what happens.

I was told I had a beautiful smile and it made my century!

Relief. Exhaustion. Sorethroatness. Happiness. Joy. Pleasure. Warmth. Mind-stretching. Mind-explosion. Excitement for Next Semester. Pure bliss to know that the Federal Government wasted $300 on my un-buyback-able textbooks.

***

One more test and then...

Nothing. It's going to be awesome.

The Passing of Time

I woke up this morning, realized that it was the 21st of November and wondered how in the world that could be! Halloween was yesterday. At least it seems like that's when it was. Wow! How fast time passes when you're not thinking about it.

But oh how slow it passes when you are.

The last few weeks have been full of excitement, laughter, candy canes, sadness and tears, great friends, drama, complications, Lord of the Rings.

In a word--HAPPINESS!

I sit here thinking on what to type and my mind is moving faster than the speed of sound. It's hard to write about what has been happening in my life the last few weeks. I can say that the last couple of weeks have been some of the best weeks I've experienced in the longest of times. My friends and I decided we needed to experience the extended edition of Lord of the Rings, which always brings a smile to my face. School has been intense. I made a monstrous list of the things I needed to do before Thanksgiving, and ever so slowly have been checking things off, which feels great! My time has been filled to the brim with good times. The Fall and I have bonded with the explosion of gorgeous colors as I've walked the Provo River and reveled in the beauty. I've acted like a Kindergartner as I went swinging often and enjoyed the crisp Fall breeze on my face. I spent an excessive amount of time with an exceptionally foolish friend. I lost myself in the moments.

All in all, life has been great. There is an emptiness in the air though as everyone leaves for Thanksgiving Break. Provo is emptying and it makes one sad. However, I am super stoked to leave Provo as well, to see my family and experience American Thanksgiving at home!

Voilá!

Fall is a beautiful season. The colors explode. The leaves dry out and fall to the ground, rustling around your feet. It's a tad cold, but that means that layers, scarves and hats can start being warm, hot cider can be drunk, and there is an excuse to stay indoors and read while cuddling under a blanket.

I love Fall.

Some of my more favorite colors are seen everywhere, bringing me joy each time I leave my apartment. The earth smells old and brings comfort to my soul as old books tend to do as well. It is just a vibrant season. One of the more prevalent reasons I absolutely die for Fall though is the orange deliciousness of Pumpkin. Cookies, blizzards, pie, bread, seeds. In all its glory, I fall. Even the word itself is cool.

Well, it snowed today, which put a damper in my mood. I decided that pumpkin would bring the party back, and thus chose to dive into the wonderful world of Pumpkin Bread. I know, I know, What's a girl like me doing in a world full of flour and baking spices?

Well, I decided to branch out and reach into my potential as a homemaker.

And it turned out pretty delicious if I do say so myself.

So thank you, Mrs Lisa Rhodes.

Oh Birthdays!

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I turn 24 years old.

Seasoned and aged.

The greatest things are.

***

I am a full-time student. I have a butt load of homework that I should be doing. I have a paper due Friday. An essay due in a week. A ton of reading piling up. Time running out.

But alas, my birthday is tomorrow. I can't seem to focus and get down to business. I think I'm going to just have to start my birthday early.

***

Oh gosh, I don't even want to think about the consequences of that decision

Vacation

A couple of days ago my sister, roommate and I were sitting in the living room discussing where we'd vacation. We even pulled up the 50 Most Vacationable Spots list. My list compares but is 1000 times better.

(1) San Diego, California

The Pacific waves. The fresh seafood. The marine life. The Mexican food galore with the wide variety of salsa. The vibe. Can you even imagine a day of beaching, then restauranting at either a seaside table, filling up on mussels and prawns--maybe a swordfish steak OR a fresh Mexican grill where I eat All I can eat Salsa and chips before receiving some pretty sweet fajitas? O Paradise!

(2) Prince Edward Island

The Beautiful Nova Scotia coastland. The romantic atmosphere. The Lobster. Sure it's the home of Anne and Gilbert, which adds to its appeal, but it's gorgeous up there on the Southeastern tip of Canada!

(3) Paris, France

The Eiffel Tower. The Louvre. The Arc de Triumph. The Notre-dame. The Seine River. The French Accent. The french cuisine. The pure fact that you are in Paris trumps it all.

As I sit here and think about where I would love to go, I really can't throw the fact that I really am okay with what I've got out of my blasted head. How is this possible? The idea of traveling has always obsessed my soul. I would die to get back to Europe. I would die to see parts of this crazy world we live in: Egypt, St Petersburg, East Germany, Australia, Alaska, Israel etc.

However as I sit pondering on where I would love to visit, all that really matters is ocean, great food and great company. That tends to make me think island or coastline. There are only limited islands I would deign with my presence. Hawaii is definitely out--I mean, active volcanic activity, me, are you serious? Sorry but definitely not on the top of the list for me. I thought Caribbean, but the more south you get the deeper you get in rice, bean and big bug territory. Me and rice don't mesh well, as well as big bugs and I. Then my mind traveled to the South Pacific (like Fiji) but I don't think the Island food is for me either. The Rice. I love, and I mean absolutely die for, fish! But the rice just ruins it. So that leaves me with the Eastern and Western Coasts, but we all know the better ocean (aka the warmer ocean) is the Pacific. That leaves me with Southern California.

So, San Diego, you and I belong together! It's official.

What I would do to see the Pacific Ocean right now!!

Especially as the tell-tale signs of winter sit in.

BYU vs Florida St

Last week, BYU was eaten alive by Airforce. It was the 11th of September so sure, Coach Mendenhall probably told the players to lose so that we could all attribute Airforce's win to an outflow of intense patriotic zeal.

But that was Last week.

It aint no September 11th anymore.

This week we play Florida State.

However, BYU's loss at Airforce broke down my faith a bit, but I have repented. I decided that I needed to show my school pride. Maybe, if I plastered myself with paraphernalia my pride and support would give them an extra push of enthusiasm and would win with flying colors. I mean they're going against Florida St. They are going to need all the help they can get.

So, Bring on the T-shirt and Cap!

Life is Great - When you have people to Share it with.

Who would have thought I'd only been at school for 2.5 weeks? It feels like I've been doing the same thing for ages.

It's only been close to 3 weeks but already so much has happened. My September has been nothing but boring.

It's been

unpredictable

hilarious

physical exerting

up

down

spiritually uplifting

rejuvenating

beyond freaky

stressful

obnoxiously irritating

but never

boring.

It all started 3 weeks from Thursday. It's interesting how each of my terms or semesters here at BYU increase in insanity through the people I interact with. Can you even imagine how Boring life would be without people? Sometimes, I, at least, wish other people did not exist. I mean sometimes people make you mad, sad, angry. Sometimes they disappoint you, lie to you, use you. Sometimes your life is just complicated when others play a role. But honestly, life would be super boring without people. So no matter how much at times, we might wish that other people would just leave us alone, People make life interesting and the world goes round.

Some of my most memorable moments of the last 3 weeks involve people. These memorable moments have both been super positive and exhilarating, and lame, but the exhilarating seriously trumps the lame.

For example, I moved into a new ward and have met a whole new group of people, each person with their own unique personality. Living with my sister is a treat. I have become "bestest friends" with Melissa Waldron and we've had our own share of adventures--including loving Robert Downing Jr in the role of Sherlock Holmes. 4 members of my MTC group religiously follow our tradition of Saturday volleyball. The mysteriously, perhaps beautiful, world of calculus has been introduced to my over eager mind by a wonderful Professor. My job is complete human interaction and I love it. I have amazing, sometimes hilarious, "companion study" with one of my awesome friends twice a week. Through that friend wanting to cheer me up after one of my not-so-great-experiences of the past few weeks, I enjoyed the insanity of a blind date, which consisted of perfect french toast, apple-cinnamon syrup, ninjas, and poetry. I went to FHE and had 7layer Bean Dip and played a crazy Name game.

All in all the great has definitely trumped the lame. Thus far, Fall Semester 2010 has been great.

Sure, I've lost my bus pass causing me to have to replace it with a $25 fee thanks to my mom who covered half of it. Sure, my mind has been stretched as I've tried to come to terms with Calculus. Sure, my roller coaster has definitely taken me for an intense ride.

But it has been great. And has definite potential of getting even better.

The Moon

Ski lift. Heights. Steep mountainsides. Full moon. Extremely chilly weather. Cold Medication. Odd variety of People.

Interesting Evening.

***

That is all I have to say.

Nasal Decongestant

The last few days have been horrible. My sinuses have killed due to the excessive amount of pressure they have had.

Anybody know where sinus pressure comes from? 'Cause I would really really like to know.

Anyways I had been popping Ibuprofen or Tylenol to depress the Sinus Headache pain, but it wasn't really working. I decided that I needed to go a step further and possibly find some Decongestion. To find the best, I call my mom - she doesn't know, but she gave me the best idea to ask the pharmacist. He saved me $9. He gave me a $3 generic Nasal Decongestant (instead of the $12 Mucinex that I had been looking at). He warned me that Pseudoephedrine is a stimulant and could cause trouble sleeping; especially to those who are highly sensitive to medication like me. If I took it at 7 or 8, he told me I should be fine.

So I took it when I got home at 8, and then about 45 minutes later I was caught on my bed snoozing by Shelby. 15 minutes later I was out. I woke up to much less sinus pressure. I was in heaven.

I don't know what the Pharmacist was saying though - trouble getting to sleep!

Third Time's a Charm -- Hopefully.

Changing rooms is a nightmare. The packing of the boxes, the moving them all out and into another room, the cleaning. As the resident of Room 2, I have to clean the bathtub. For the last cleaning check, I cleaned that tub so well but failed and paid $20 for it. Awesome!!! Failing the check brought the cleaning lady - whom I'm positive came in with sandpaper and paint to make the tub perfectly white but leaving a brilliant layer of white dust-residue.

As I faced the tub this time around I was a girl on a mission--it was going to be clean! I took 3/4 of a bottle of SoftScrub to it. I scrubbed it once and then again. But alas, as the foot prints slowly faded away but a hidden weird dark stain showed up. (AH! the SoftScrub was eating away the paint and uncovering the hidden stains underneath.)

After two scrubs it still wasn't clean so I took Ajax to it. It turned blue!

It was a genius blue color.

Now it's white and my arms are exhausted. If it's not clean enough, I just guess I don't have the right supplies. I'll have to buy some white paint for next time.

I think it looks pretty good.

(for the amount of energy and cleaning product that went into it)

2010: Summer Term

Wow! Time flew by, yet, at the same time, this term feels like it has lasted forever.

Spring Term was full of excitement: experiencing the whole BYU experience for the first time, diving into the Provo scene, learning guitar, meeting some pretty awesome people and some pretty interesting people as well. I thought how could anything top that 7 weeks of my life. Well, Summer Term was even better. For one, I only had to write 1 paper and I got to do mathematical equations every day! I mean, what is better than that?!

At the start of the term, I was super excited to start my College Algebra class to prepare me for Honors Calculus in the Fall. I had a Chemistry class I was going to also take but mid-first-class, I dropped it due to the teacher's incompetence. I signed on for Introduction to Music instead, which turned out to be an excellent choice. Both my classes were exciting and thrilling.

My teachers were both humorous, which helped my 8 o'clock music class and I become friends. The Music class had me listening to Mozart, Beethoven, Copland, Gregorian Chant, Vivaldi, and Opera all term. The Math class had me solving wonderfully beautiful logarithms, quadratic equations, inequalities, inverse functions, and then combining polynomials as well as ripping them apart. Life was good!

As I went through the term, desires to see Opera and Ballet, to play in a Symphonic Orchestra again, and to teach math were intensified. It was pretty exciting. Some people might think those desires are extremely odd, but that is just who I am.

I realized once again that I rarely open my mouth before 10 o'clock AM as I didn't meet anyone new in my early Music class, but Math (as 12:00) was a different story. I met a few people in my math class - including the mothers that were working on their unfinished degrees. Within my first week, I noticed a young man that looked really really familiar. Finally I just decided to ask him who he was and lo and behold, he lives in Centerville, went to Viewmont and his name is Brad. Small world. Anyways we became Math Study partners and dominated the class because of it. Honestly, if any of our classmates found out our grades, we'd have to go under cover to protect our lives. Why? Well, our grades will in no way help the class curve to increase. Oops.

All in all, this term was pretty awesome. Next semester will be interesting: more people, more classes, and more weeks. We'll see what happens. I'm pretty excited for the adventure that lies ahead; especially for Honors Calculus. That will definitely be one rockin' adventure.

BYU Graduation. Winter 2013.

So, my education history has been nothing but smooth sailing. One turn led to another turn or dip or a flip. In a sense, almost complete nonsensical nonsense. I attended Viewmont High School up through 10^th grade when during a Trigonometry course, I decided to follow my family into the awesomely intricate world of Home-school. Oh, Home-school! Thomas Jefferson Education, South Davis Co-Op, Shakespeare, over-excessive drama. O bo bo! Weird decision after decision, I end up spending a month of my life in Europe. Loved life—Paris, London, Rome, and Gelato. Then I came back from spending a month through Europe with George Wythians and decided to head south to Cedar City to attend George Wythe College, becoming a janitor/slave at GWC so that I could afford to attend. Throughout it all, the experiences were great. I learned a lot. Our experiences and what we learn from them are what make up our lives. My love for mathematics intensified without it being in my life. As my time at GWC ended in the summer of 2006, I looked forward into my life and saw completely nothing. I moved home and I thought, “What now?!” Well I went to work to get some financial backing for whatever was in my future. Then, in January I followed the scholastic call again and became a Weber Wildcat. After a semester, I decided that Weber just was not going to cut it and became an Aggie, enrolling at Utah State. Utah State lasted for a year, but a dream that I had dreamed since I was 8 years old would not be shaken. I decided that I needed to turn in my mission papers. In July of 2008, I entered the MTC to serve a mission for the Church of Latter-Day Saints in Tirana Albania, returning in January of 2010. My education career has carried me from George Wythe College, to Weber State, to Utah State, and finally to Brigham Young University where I stand today.

Tonight, I put my foot down and planned my education future from today until the day that I will receive my BYU diploma wearing my Blue cap and gown. I have put in motion declaring my major to be that of a Mathematics Education. My minor will be History Education and possibly a TESOL Minor as well, but that could be just a bit excessive. We shall see what happens. Anyways through all my planning, I have come to some conclusions: (1) each semester will be 15/16 credits, and (2) I will officially be wearing that cap and moving the tassel Winter 2013.

I will be much older than the average BYU female graduate I assume, but as a friend once told me, It doesn’t matter when, It just matters that it happens.

Thus it shall – Winter 2013. Go me!!

Overzealous Excitement

During my most recent CostCo experience,

I came across a sight that I found hilariously ridiculous.

They are prepared for the next 3 major holidays.

Lt to Rt: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween.

Sure, I am super excited for Halloween, THANKSGIVING and CHRISTMAS. I mean it was back in 2007 that I got to experience an American Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's been too long. Thanksgiving is not the same anywhere else in the world. I can hardly wait for the turkey, the stuffing, the olives, the sparkling drinks, the cranberries, the mashed potatoes and gravy, the Grateful feelings. And Christmas, in a Non-Christian society, it just isn't the same either. Whenever I catch myself thinking about what the future holds, my heart starts beating wildly and I get almost giddy. I have at least voiced this excitement to 3 people. I am downright excited for it all. The food, the Holiday cheer that can be seen everywhere, even College Football. The wassail, the hot chocolate, the cinnamon sticks filling rooms with Holiday smell, gift-giving, wrapping paper, Peppermint CandyCanes!, Christmas carols playing on the Radio, Christmas trees, lights, and the list goes on. I am stoked. And can hardly wait!

But CostCo - aren't we going to the extreme? I mean it's not even September!

11:42 P.M.

I am on my floor of my apartment. I just printed out the final draft for my paper, my flashcards are sitting unused by my side, and I decided that I eat WAY to much food and spend WAY too little time doing anything physical. I feel fat. I know I'm not fat--don't go all crazy on me! I just feel it.

I feel fat.

My thighs seem larger.
My pants somehow make them look even larger.
I feel rollier in my belly.
My breasts feel tight around the undergarments (I know way too much info, but who really reads this anyways!)
and I feel so much more oily on my face like the fat has liquefied and is seeping through my pores.

I need to solve this crisis. And I know how to do it!

Physical exertion. I haven't been on my bike for days. True the weather has been so PMSy that I haven't had the courage to get out to be electrocuted seconds later by a freak lightning storm or blown away by a random Tornado. I can't even remember the last time I went running. It probably coinsides with the rape on the Provo River Trail. Lame, sick world we live in.

But enough is enough. I feel fat. I know I ain't fat - but I sure as do feel it. And I'm done with it.

Physical exertion Here I come.


But first I got to finish the term off with a bang,
but before that I have got to go to bed!

Little Surprises Make Big Deals Sometimes

At the start of this week, I looked at it and then looked at all that I had to accomplish and thought "WOW! If all gets done, I know that Somebody loves me."

This week the list of To-Do was gigantic. I realized that somehow I had 2 little weeks left in the term but about 1/2 the work of the term still to accomplish.

My list consisted of:

my 3rd Math Test

Math Study with my Blast-from-the-Past

6.3,6.4,7.1,7.5,7.6,8.1,8.2,8.3 Homework

Reading Part V and VI (approx. 200 pgs)

Study for my 3rd Music Test

my 3rd Music Test

And all of that needed to be done by Noon on Saturday. By Wednesday at 2:00, the only things checked off were the 1st and 2nd. The week was quickly reaching the hump point and I had a ton of stuff still to do. At 2 on Wednesday, I left my Math class and headed to the library where I sat and did Math homework until 4:30. I officially got peeved with the computer program that I have to work with and thus I needed my comfort food. So I went home and made my fasule. But at 6:00, I packed myself back into my car and headed to the library where I sat until 10:00 and read almost the entirety of Part V in my Music textbook.

These 4 hours sprouted an excitement for Romantic music in my soul and all I wanted to do was read Biography after Biography on the different composers of the Romantic era, and soak in all their music. I mean, Beethoven is loosing his hearing, but instead of succumbing to this definite weak link, he composes some of his greatest works (i.e. Beethoven's 5th). Then what about Wagner, who had a love/hate relationship with the people of the world, writing Opera's that last 17 hours over a 4 night period. And who in the world is Schubert, who according to my textbook, couldn't be drafted into the army because he didn't reach the minimum height of 5 ft. I thought I was short! (But then the textbook writers did say that the Star Wars saga was 7 parts rather than just the 6, so it could have been a mistake) Then there was the romantic life of Robert and Clara Schumann who "exemplified the Spirit of the Romantic Age." Berlioz and his obsession with William Shakespeare. Peter Tchaikovsky who by the end of the 19th century was the world's most popular orchestral composer but was a sum of odd personality traits: manic-depressive, neurotic, hypochondriac and homosexual. Then there was the "poet of the piano", Frederic Chopin, and "perhaps the most flamboyant artistic personality of the entire 19th century", Franz Liszt who was the "musical sex symbol of the Romantic Era". Reading all about this Era last night filled me with a desire to know them all, to have seen Liszt play the piano in person, to have seen a Tchaikovsky ballet, to watch Wagner's "Ring Cycle" -- just to know them all on a deeply personal level. But I couldn't, I had to close my book and focus on that which was at hand.

So after that exquisite journey through the Romantic era, I went home to go to bed so that I could wake up and do it all again today. I thought today would be go to class at 8, do Math until 2, when I would go home and eat some lunch, and then head back to the library to read the rest of my textbook so that I could study for my test all day tomorrow and take it on Saturday morning. That will probably be what happens (minus the block of time I've taken to release myself on my blog), but now I feel the tension leaving my soul.

Why?

Well here it is. The return to consonance in my very dissonant life. My Music teacher decided to gift us with a chance for some "extra credit" points. The chance for that extra credit was presented in the knowledge that the upcoming 3rd Test would be Open Book and Open Note and I'd have until Tuesday morning to finish it. When he said this, I felt free and alive. This surprise was definitely worth falling out of my bed at the crack of dawn this morning! So now I'll study for my test but I wont have to study at the same insane level I do usually.

All I want to do is break out into exclamatory Albanian but only I would understand that so I'll keep it to myself!

Gosh - Today has started out beautifully.

Somebody loves me.

Fasule Melissa-Style

Albania lives in my heart for many a reason: my lovely friends, the crazy language, sufflaqes, and fasule. Fasule is simple and delicious. It's much more of a comfort food to me than Chicken Noodle Soup. Albanians are a very simple people so fasule meant boiled beans, an onion, some garlic and possibly some tomato sauce. Not much but it was super delicious.

Today I needed that comfort food. Even though the season wasn't calling for it at all. So after I spent hours pouring over my math book, I went home and decided to pull my albanian traditions out and make some fasule.

But what I ended up creating was 100,000 times better.

***

Fasule Melissa-Style

I took:

2 cans of Norther White Beans and put them in a pot with water to start boiling.

Off to the side in a frying pan, I took:

a delicious, almost excessive amount of Virgin Pressed Olive Oil,

1 jalapeno

1/4 of a White Onion

4 giant cloves of garlic

1 Roma tomato

3/4 of a zucchini

1 white Portobello mushroom

and a nice dosage of Garlic Pepper

and saute ed all of that for about 10 minutes. Softening the vegetables and getting all the juices flowing beautifully!

As I watched the concoction of vegetables saute into near perfection, I threw in some Chicken broth with the beans to give the fasule an extra touch of flavor as well as throwing in 1/3 of a can of Tomato paste; giving the fasule it's beautiful red coloring.

When the vegetables were gorgeous, I threw those into my beans, added 4 more spoons of Olive oil and a spoonful of Sour Cream (making it a tad bit creamy).

Then I covered that pan, set it to high and boiled it for 30 minutes; allowing, the steam to circulate throughout my kitchen, enveloping the apartment in a delicious aroma.

After that half hour, I opened up my lid to find the most beautiful orange-red colored, and hearty looking fasule ever. I instantly poured myself a bowl, sat down and ate.

The moment that spoon hit my mouth, I was in paradise. Life was good.

***

It was delicious.

***

**It had burned at the bottom a little bit but that just added a somewhat exotic smokey flavoring that made it that much better.

Trek up to Elephant Rock

Today I decided that I wanted to go on an adventure!

So I pulled the bored-out-of-his-mind Brian along with me. He knew he wanted to be there -- deep inside his sleepy self. Our destination was Elephant Rock, which in all reality is just the biggest rock the hikers could find to make a trail to in the Wasatch Front hills east of North Salt Lake. I had made this trek once before -- more than a decade previously. My little brother and I were taken up the mountain with our grandparents. I remember two things from that adventure. (1) We were fascinated with the creek and being able to swim in it. (2) I was frightened I'd be blown off when we reached the top.

Putting that fear aside, I decided we needed to tackle the mountain.

We started at about 9:30 AM at the head of the Mueller Park Trail. It would take us approximately three hours to make the 7 mile round trip trek. With the crazy amount of bikers we had to yield to, the Garden snake that freaked Brian, the dog that freaked me, the rocks which jump out at your unaware self, and the ridiculous amount of complaining coming from in front or behind me (depending on where Brian stood), it's simply amazingly outstanding that we survived as we did!

For the first little while on the trail we had to attack switchback after switchback. And we found many trees that had fallen on the wayside. Sad day for them.

The trees hadn't made it - but we would! So we continued...

Eventually we found the source (one of many according to Brian) of the gurgling water sounds we kept hearing. Brian decided that he would drink some of the cool creek water. He filled that bottle up with no concern for the warnings of Giardia coming from my beautiful, smart self. Too bad for him on his long road trip across the Continental USA, if he drank up those harmful microscopic organisms.

For all the helpful warnings thrown his way, he wasn't even at all grateful. He preceded to throw water on the Warner. Let's just say, I was grateful that it was cool and that it was hot outside because that water needed to dry up as fast as possible.

At this point in the trek, we left the switchbacks behind us and went forward. The rest of the trail was spotted with wooden bridges to protect us from the Oh-So-Powerful Water on the hill.

We had little leaves and we had big leaves.

Then we made it to the top of the trail where we made our way down this perilous little trail to the Rock so we could conquer it. It might not look that bad, but sliding was practically the only way to make it down in one-dirty-piece.

Going back up it didn't look like too much fun either.

But we made it to the rock. The trees hadn't made it but we did! And guess what, my childhood fears were no where to be seen.

Even though it was a long drop down.

The closer I got to the edge though, the closer those fears came into my consciousness.

But I conquered the mountain.

Well, I guess WE conquered the mountain.

And we were exhilarated - can you tell?

Let's just say the idea of the trek down was budding in our minds and it looked long.

But it had to start.

So,

We climbed down the rock,

We shimmied through the crevice where my size came into Brian-voiced question: whether or not I was going to be able to squeeze through,

We scrambled up the dirt slide,

We said Hi to all those at the top of the trail

and then we headed down.

Where,

bicycles almost ran us over,

the snake almost jumped out at us again,

more dogs came our way,

the flies never left us alone,

we ran out of water,

the weirdness of our friendship was discussed,

Brian kept telling himself that I was not fat as penance,

I kept breaking out into song,

and Albanian,

I bloodied up my knee to keep my ankle from twisting,

weeds were thrown,

and I realized my friend was one of the biggest complainers in the universe.

(Good Luck on that Road Trip of yours)

***

All in all, it was an adventure.

Comcast: The Possible Bane of My Patience

So all day Friday, my comcast internet connection was out. We tried resetting and resetting and resetting it. But alas, nothing happened. I called my dad and asked if this was a common occurrence - for comcast internet to be pathetically lame. He said - not so much. I knew it!! It was the combination of Comcast and my Apartment Complex - which I haven't been on that great of terms with for the last couple of months. Lack of communication, lack of good "costumer service" in our complex has led to a lot of stress in my apartment. Ever since they put in this new cable box- we haven't had cable in my apartment. This happened about a month ago. This doesn't really effect me because I'm not such a fan of television--too many commercials! Lame. Anyways - what peeves me the most - IS NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE ABOUT IT! Goodness gracious me.

Anyways I spent a good hour and a half trying to figure out this exasperating problem on Friday night. My mom tried to live chat with a customer service representative but they couldn't find our account number. Finally I got through on their service line - and after much holding and listening to much calming music - the man on the other end told me that he could help me due to the fact that my account was actually a BUSINESS account and could only be dealt with during business hours. So I get off the phone kind of perturbed that it hadn't been thought of to deal with the obvious problem during business hours (while I was unaware of the problem due to the fact that I was out of town). Problems like these don't get solved by themselves. This is not the think system, Professor Harold Hill. We have to do something about it! Anyways. Moving on.

I get off the phone. I decide that I'm going to just unplug it all and give it some time. Then I went about plugging all the cords back into the modem and router. Hoping beyond all hope that somehow the system would forget that it had end not been working only a moment earlier! And my thinking indeed conquered the machine. Excellent. So all roommates were happy. Stress free we thought. Until Sunday morning, when the machine realized what had happened and it stopped working in spite! Ridiculous. I only that that human vs machine battles existed in movies like the Matrix or iRobot!!

I tried to unplug it all again and confuse the machine again-- but alas, it has evolved!!

***

So Heather what I am trying to say is that there is a high chance of me rethinking your offer.

Because this my friends is highly ridiculous and extremely annoying.

What is Love?

This question was asked as I sat at Ms. Heather Wrigley's home watching her mother make the most delicious cookies as we watched Sense and Sensibility. Both Eleanor and MaryAnne were in love, but both outwardly showed their love in drastically different ways. So the question was asked:

What is Love?

What do you think?

Have you ever been in love?

or been loved?

What is it and how does it feel?

Both of Eleanor and MaryAnne's beaux complimented each other. I mean, I could never be persuaded that Eleanor loved Willoughby and MaryAnne loved Edward. It was like it was their specific keys that unlocked the women's hearts. No other key could do it just the same. But then you have to ask, was MaryAnne actually in love with Willoughby - or was she infatuated with him? The Colonel unlocked her heart as well, but he and Willoughby are not similar in the slightest. And then what was it that constituted the Colonel's love for MaryAnne? He saw her through all her craziness. But loved her through it all.

What is love?

Everyone tells us we need to find the one that we can love and who will love us.

But what does that even mean?

How will we know when we find that one we love and who loves us? W

hat will it be like?

Will it be fireworks in our heart?

Will it be just a wake-up-in-the-morning feeling, and we'll just know?

Will it be a gradual understanding?

What is this insanely powerful emotion that ties one man and one woman together forever?

I love my family and I love my friends. I deeply enjoy their company. I can't wait to see them after a long absence. I hug them till it hurts. I love sharing my dreams, and adventures with them. I love divulging me and myself to them. I love hearing about their crazy lives as well. I hate it when they hurt. I love it when they're happy. I love finding them the most perfect presents.

Will this be what that LOVE is like?

Will I feel towards the man of my dreams as I do with my family?

But I love other people. I love those I meet. And who become part of my life through their influence. We bond in a most interesting way. I love Ms. Heather's family. I love those amazing brothers of hers as I would my own flesh and blood. I love many Albanians. I love friends of both genders.

What will make this LOVE different?

What is LOVE?

For all those out there who are married, or have ever fallen into the trap of LOVE, I ask from all of us who have yet fallen,

what is it?

Adventure 2:

the 1st being with Shelby in Provo Canyon

***

Adventure 2 entailed me riding a bike for the first time in a long while!

It was hot. It was amazing. I started out and rode West following the gorgeous Provo River. The air was full of cotton and the smell of water. I loved the wind blowing against me. It was a great feeling--exhilarating really. The sun was beating on my back and I excitedly soaked up every ultraviolet ray. I realized mid-trip that somehow my front brakes (it took me awhile to figure out how to spell that- Ridiculous!) weren't up to par. I'll have to check that out.

Anyways, i fell upon a Summer Winterland.

It was gorgeous.

And as I rode further and further, I was getting more and more excited until

DEAD END.

Lame.

But I happily turned around because the UV rays were still pouring into my ever so eager skin. As I made my way back towards home, I noticed something thin and long in my path. I noticed it was a snake right before my front wheel pancaked it! Oops.

As I peddled home, I found out the perfect way to make yourself look like a leper. So all those wannabe lepers out there, listen up! This is what you do. First, go get exceptionally burned. Then, go and perspire - either by running, or riding your bike. The moisture (aka sweat) will not be able to get past that layer of dead, burned skin. This will cause your skin to bubble in sweat-drop sized bubbles. These bubbles will also be a whiter color.

And there you have it, you have achieved looking like a leper! Excellent.

It was a great ride!

Who would have ever thunked that riding a bike was "just like riding a bike"?

June 3rd

May is officially over, June has officially begun, and I am officially stoked.

Why?

Because (ishalla kismet) the sun will be out more often now that we are getting deeper into summer.

Because Spring Term is coming to an end, and Summer Term is about to begin which means that I'll be done with writing and on to numbers.

Because Motra Bentli only has 4 more months before she is attacked by a extremely anxious returned missionary.

Because ....

I can't list the numerous reasons why I am officially stoked. One major reason I would have to say is because August is getting closer. My bestest friend and I have decided that we are young, and single only once so we have to live it up. We have decided to go on the adventure of our lifetimes (now to an adventure seeker this just might not seem like a lot - but to us, it is going to be monumental).

ROADTRIPING it to CALIFORNIA!

It's not set in stone, and the details are still being hammered out but it looks like it is going to be awesome. There are two options.

OPTION 1:

We'd drive through Las Vegas to get to beautiful San Diego (one of my most favorite cities in the world).

Spend a couple of days soaking in those exhilarating UV rays. Then head home but not through Las Vegas. Nope - we'd only make that ridiculously horrible drive once. We'd head up the coast and take Route 1

Stopping on the way and playing in the beach

until we reach San Francisco

where we'd make a left and head straight across the continental US and hit home.

Jealous yet? :) Just thinking about the possibilities is making my heart go insane.

OPTION 2:

We'd drive down to San Diego and spend 3 days on the beach,

and then head home.

Option 1 is looking much more pleasing, if only because we wouldn't have to make that ridiculous drive more than once! And it is a dream of mine to drive Route 1 and I think it is high time for me to achieve another one of my dreams!! I mean in a little more than 4 months, I'm going to be 24. This my friends is officially weird. Who'd ever think I'd turn 24 one day! I know it was bound to happen, but I feel like I should feel older and act older somehow. But I don't and wont - I am going to be a 24-year old with the heart of an 8-year old!

Anyways that is why I am officially stoked May is over and June has begun!!

It's exhilarating.

It is 12:45 in the morning and I just have no desire to go to bed

I pulled out my computer and logged onto my blog and decided that I would do exactly what it says--I am going to release my thoughts out into the universe.

Have you ever wondered why life is the way it is? Why things happen the way they happen? What is the reason you meet certain people? How others impact your life: your actions, your thoughts, you as a person? Did you ever once want to just break free from all that you do and are and fly away? For the last month my life has been one crazy rollercoaster twist and dip after another, and as I was driving in my car tonight I just decided that I wanted to breakaway from it all and escape! That would be the irresponsible reaction but it would feel great. I just want to breakaway from all the chaos and go to my happy place--find my own Neverland. The chaos of school, people, living--evolution. It's like I'm sitting in a room and everything is moving so fast around me in all sorts of directions. I'm grappling for some sort of support before the dizziness overwhelms me. I reach out for something but my hand finds nothing--pure air.

It's hard living like that. My rollercoaster of life seems to have gone up the scale of intensity this last month and a week. (There's something crazy in the air here in Provo.) After a twist on my rollercoaster, I hit a little plateau. And I think I've got everything together until all of a sudden the wind is knocked out of me by the sudden drop which takes me to another tight twist on the ride. Not only is everything passing by so fast but the g-forces are making me dizzy and I'm loosing the ability to register that which is around me!

As of late I have found solace in my cello. It's brought me great comfort to passionately pull my bow and deep cello tones come to my ears. The cello is a beautiful instrument, and I love the deep depth of it. My roommate actually came out the other day and asked if I had heard the cello playing somewhere in our complex. Yes, I heard it! - and it filled my soul with peace.

As of late I have also found solace in the exertion of running. When all I have to think about and do is remember to breath. Focus on the exertion, and the effort. And feel the pain and stretch my muscles. I love it.

As of late I have also found solace in the library. Going and finding some well-hidden nook to hole up in for hours as I grapple to wrap my hands around these assignments of mine. Assignments - wow, the term is almost done and I still feel as if I've barely begun. My mind is whirling.

Today, I wanted to throw myself in my car and escape to some paradise. Lay on the beach, soak up a load of uv rays, and just exist. That would have been so nice. But that is not what happened. Instead I found myself at the South Branch Library hidden away from the world trying to grasp my research paper.

I need to go on a spontaneous adventure! Not knowing before hand what is going to happen or where I am going. Just go and do and be. Explode with enthusiasm for life. Reach out into the world somehow. Find my nook (not in some hole in a library) but in Life. Be a solid footing in the grand scheme of things. Understand what it seems others understand with ease. Reach out and mark myself on the world somehow.

Anyways those are my thoughts and I send them out.

Sitting at the Library

So I was minding my own business and sitting at the library trying desperately to come up with an outline for my research paper--and suddenly all progress halted. A boy came up to me and wanted to read my writing but I just wouldn't let him. He stuck around making fun of my music selection on my iPod, and boasting about his superb spelling talent (he got a 100% on all his spelling tests from 1st-5th grade). How amazing!! He also just announced that he is a massive fan of Miley Cyrus. Go him. This boy is now just watching me write this blog post, and now I can't write anymore because he's watching and reading and singing along to Miley. What a blast the library can be sometimes! You just meet the most random, interesting people.

Let me tell you a little more about this boy. He follows me to 2 of my 3 classes this term: New Testament and Guitar. He has a thing for math homework; spending all of his time solving those problems. He practically is dealing with a spicy love triangle with his Math 110 book, and his Calculus book. I don't know if we can be friends because of his relationship issues. They are somewhat not normal. But we all have our own special characteristics that make up the more interesting parts of our personalities. He also loves meat. Despite this love, he loved the vegetarian pizza we had yesterday. He thinks he's a geek because of his obsession with modern history which I found out as he almost wouldn't tell me he was reading "Legacy of Ashes" because he was so embarrassed. Ridiculous. I mean we're talking to the girl who fell in love with James Madison because of his superb writing in the Federalist Papers. Seriously he has nothing to worry about in the geek department. We have also come to find out about this boy that he likes to blame unblameable things on others -- like a sunburn being somehow my problem. I guess I should take it as a compliment that somehow I control the sun. But if I really had control over the sun we wouldn't be suffering from the cloudy weather still. He did just inform me though that it isn't the sun but my radioactivity that made him red - because you know us girls, we are radioactive somehow. I feel like I just stepped out of a Superman episode or something. Moving on...

So that is why I am still sitting at the library completely not progressing on my outline for my research paper.

We thought all had been revealed but alas it goes deeper. He has Jedi mind powers. He just told me that it was him that cut my finger yesterday. But how? I mean I was holding the knife. I hope he doesn't think that his Jedi mind powers will get him reading my research paper. Those Jedi mind powers only work on the weak minded! So now he's just lying about his mind powers. Or I could just be twisting his words.

But I need to get back to work or the boy that stalks around me all day will be solving his problems by himself tonight. Sad day.

The Weekend Full of Adventure

So Friday morning rolled around and I had to get up and go to school for two hours. kaq. Rude. I made it through those two hours and then headed back to the bus awake with nothing to do the rest of the day. So what do I do? I throw myself back on my bed - after I think making some hash and eggs for myself - and I watch the rest of Season 5 of Bones. This was an excellent use of my time. Shelby and I go out and buy food - I buy myself a massive DiGiorno Pizza and some sorbet (which I have yet eaten), and some macaroni and cheese. Melissa comes over to my apartment and we make said pizza and watch Just Like Heaven (which is about the cheesiest of all chick flicks ever). Then we end up talking and thinking back on our missions. Great times.

Then Saturday comes. And I wake up and decide to go running which I realize, I haven't done for awhile so it's going to take some getting used to again. But it awakens my soul. Shelby and I then decide to randomly go off into Provo Canyon to explore. I go home and take a shower because I smell and then we make sandwiches and head out to the unexplored regions of Provo Canyon. (I say unexplored not to say we were in the deep wilderness, hacking our paths - but unexplored in the sense that I have never been in the Canyon and I have no idea what is awaiting me.) We end up eating at this little man-made pond of sorts which has a sign posted where you cannot fish if you're past the age of 12 (let's just say there were definitely either really aged 12 years old individuals or really pathetic old fishermen). But after we ate our sandwiches at the edge of this pond we head up a windy road of sorts that led us absolutely no where but to see a man put his mountain bike into the back seat of his Mustang, and a baby horse drinking milk and a daddy cow get rather protective of its children. So we head out of that road and start making our way out of the canyon but we turn up another direction and head into what is called the "National Forest". We stopped at a camping/picnic ground where there was a clear water creek. We go exploring. As we are walking we pass a post-apocalypse of an area with trunks strewn all over the ground, and then we find a rather well-positioned log across the creek. We decide we must cross said log. Excitement and anxiety filled our souls as we slowly made our way across the creek - having to slide down the last bit because there was no hand holds. We come to the end and see that there is about 4 feet of unlogged creek that we must cross. Shelby's eyes then catch a smaller log that will be able to get us across the creek with no problem. Then after we are safely on the other side we decide to get in the water. Shelby has to take her shoes off which leads her emotions to disgust as she walks across slimy creek rocks. The best part of the water excitement was when I had to piggy-back Shelby across the creek so her shoes wouldn't get wet - the slimy rocks being too gross for her. We almost went down in a heap because she was freaking out so. Needless to say we survived. After the crazy piggy-back ride, we made our way back to the car where our adventures had not ended yet. We start driving back towards Orem and find yet another little road leading us to see Bridal Vail Falls. (Shelby: "Another wedding reference!!") They were pretty extraordinary. Shelby thought our trip had finished and so did I until I saw a sign leading us towards Squaw Peak Road! This road led us straight up Squaw Peak, zigzagging us on a very menacing road with cliffs often along the way. But it was an adventure and I wanted to look out on the valley! Shelby was once again freaking out due to her complete lack of faith in my driving abilities! We finally reached "the Overlook" and it definitely was a sight worth seeing! But after 3 hours of exploring, we left the Canyon and headed back home. It was a pretty awesome day as I completely shut away the preliminary research I needed to do to go play out in the sun. At this moment Shelby and I ditched each other until a few hours later when we got together and watched Deep Impact. The last 30-45 minutes of this movie were watched in total silence minus soft sniffles as our heart strings were pulled in so many directions and the tears came freely. That movie is rough.

Sunday - Melissa and Shelby taught me how to make Twice Baked Potatoes and I drove all the way down University Avenue to find a dead end.

And these were the reasons why this weekend was full of Adventure.

Random

So I don't really have any idea what to write about, but I just want to write - so here goes nothing. It's been a pretty random couple of weeks, today being random pretty much by itself. I've moved down to the happy city of Provo. Started Spring term, dropping a philosophy class to add a guitar class (which was one of the best decisions in my life). I've had to learn to prepare food for myself - not so great. It was beautiful weather, then it snowed. My New Testament religion course has enlightened my soul. I've met some new people. Laughed hysterically in the library with a few as we discussed the uses of commas. I wrote one paper about Major stereotypes and working on a rhetorical analysis of Bush's speech to Congress on the 20th of September 2001. I watched a few clips of the September 11th footage, reliving the memories. I played Rummikub with Daniel Turli at Wendys and it was a blast. Today was full of surprises. The biggest one being Joy Kennedy all the way from England. We ended up going to Acoustic Explosion - an hour and a half of interesting entertainment: starting with an interesting combination of vocals, piano and strings and ending with a very sure of himself piano player. Then the night ended with a long phone call with a friend which consisted of me talking a whole lot (a trait which became more prominent after the mission). But it was fun.